The Ever Elusive Tao Of The Here And Now

Ok Mr. Guru I’m ready now I’m ready to find now ready ready ready to be in the now soak in the now stretch my whole body out in the nowness of the now now is a noun but is it is now a noun now is a noun but it’s also an adverb a ripple a trill a paroxysm in time a sausage in a grill a nucleus with a shiny thesis the thesis of now which even now has already slipped away it slipped away as soon as I wrote the word now. I know the future isn’t real I get it it hasn’t happened yet whatever is going to happen isn’t real because it hasn’t occurred hasn’t commenced hasn’t emerged hasn’t cropped up broken apart materialized transpired perspired backfired retired inquired or gone haywire it’s just a thought an imagined event that may happen may not happen will most likely happen in a way I didn’t expect and so yes I get it there’s no reality there but isn’t it in some way apprehended doesn’t it have contours that can be reasonably predicted and doesn’t that make it at least a little real? And the past is even harder to overcome because there are things that happened things occurred concurred whispered in the dark yelled across a fence pounded on a door argued with passion argued with subtlety mistakes made awful things said terrible actions taken regrets made remorse stinging like iodine on a cut a constant ache in the brain a deep irreversible frustration how are these things not real they have real emotional depth and resonance the images aren’t hallucinated they may be distorted there is that no memory is without its distortions its magnifications its mistranslations but still it’s there swimming back and forth in the aquarium of the brain monstrous speculations climbing up and down the spine and spitting their black ugly ink in the accepting moistness and convolutions of the brain. Who wouldn’t love to ditch all that see it dissolve in a moment of enlightenment it’s not real none of it not like this fork on the counter this sock on the floor this blanket on the bed this song in my head this endless pursuit for forgiveness and peace. So where is it this wonderful sanctity this elusive now the power of now the ambience of now how would I know if I’m there ensconced squarely in the now the nonlinear now the juicy loosey-goosey now can I be immersed in it without knowing I’m immersed in it was it here long enough for me to know it was here or did it just pass by without a hint without a mind to fuel it bring it fully into existence toss an anchor out and keep it here keep it close and singing like a parakeet in a cage a cat on the lap a talismanic energy staving off death and loss and tragedy? Is it a matter of focus? This is silly. This is going nowhere. It’s not like looking for a rare butterfly. It’s like looking straight in the eye of time and seeing out the other side which just slid into the next moment which is happening now this very second unraveling in the aftermath of the first thing to come into your mind.