I opened the closet door and there stood Eugène
Ionesco lost among our clothes. I removed my coat and gave it to him and he
kindly hung it up. Thank you, I said. Don’t mention it, he said. He exited the
closet and sneezed and remarked on the art of hanging clothes, how it is
haunted by so many prospects, so many hooks, and lends a certain tartness to
life, à la the humble martini olive. Precisely, I said. This is the daily
ceremony I look forward to every day, that and the glory of continuing my life
as a Buffalo Bill impersonator, while I employ the arabesques of words to
incarnate the tangle of the mind, and set forth on the prairie in search of stethoscopes
and quail. So you write then as well, he asked. I answered humbly that I did.
When water is vertical it becomes a waterfall, he said. Yes, I’ve noticed the
same phenomenon, I answered. But what happens when we fall through ourselves
into sleep? We fall into other worlds, he said. And these worlds are sometimes
our salvation. How so, I asked. It is in dreaming that our narratives turn
brisk and ultramarine and that our authentic selves leap into postulations of
light and buy tickets to Paris. I’m frequently impelled by shoes, I said. But in
my dreams, my shoes behave badly. They become prepositions and I can feel their
leather creak with strange, metaphysical maps, notions of up and down that lose
their meaning entirely, and I can go anywhere I want, which frequently entails
flying. The interior of my skull is seized by a shiny, Pythagorean lust, and I
need a camel to get across the desert, away from the chains of my brain, which
smell of algorithms and creosote. When this happens I awake feeling clever and
unconstrained, and this might last for a full twenty minutes, or until I get
dressed. Once I am encompassed in my clothes again, the dream dissolves in a
pink cloud of divinity. I make breakfast and prepare for the frictions of the
world, which require structure and concentration. The table causes itself to
press up to my hands and the infinite camaraderie of furniture become fugues of
prophecy. I hurry to write descriptions of the greenhouse and experiences of
hope and percolation that thicken into invention and understanding. I looked to
see what my interlocutor would have to say of this, but he had gone. I checked
in the closet. He wasn’t there. But sometime later as I prepared to go pick my
wife up at work, an arm emerged from somewhere in the depths of the closet and
handed me a soft, heavy coagulation of wool whose buttons of pearl and ivory
smelled of accommodation, and whose sleeves accepted my arms like a meditation
in silk. Thank you, I said. You’re welcome, came a voice from within the dark.
Remember: you’re more than a coat, better than a shirt. Inside your clothes
you’re naked. And that, my friend, is an elevator to the angels.
Monday, February 23, 2015
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