It's Risky When You Start

One might also say it’s whiskey when you start, risky when you continue.

Either way, you’ve got a conundrum to unravel, a web to spin, a dilemma to solve, a world to engage, a world to examine cautiously, and anonymously, and a world of words at your fingertips ready to probe the world of dirt and rainbows with a variety of radar, sonar, ultrasonic sensors, scatterometers, dynamometers, dictionaries, libraries, moonberries, apiaries, corollaries, emissaries, dignitaries, dispensaries, limitless intuitions and echolocation.

It's risky when you start with a form of water and use a spoon to describe your anguish. It's often possible even to go so far as to do it with some relish. For one thing it won't be this attenuated, it will be suitable for diffusion and make a nice necklace when the words are all strung together. It's risky when you start accumulating them and using installment payments against a backdrop of rising over-indebtedness to obtain certain satisfactions that only a ghostly belladonna can know. Life is a continual alarm going off and that’s what makes Emily Dickinson such an interesting investigation for me. Her poems are like glass slides smeared with bewildering thread. They’re gnarly, like Bacardi, and give off bubbles. Today’s population, as you can see, has become quite enamored of sequins and other sparkly things. They are turning to these for things for timeless enjoyment, like the guy that already has enough tattoos to drive a Grave Digger across the state line into Arkansas on a Saturday night. I have everything I need for the plasma that is the handshake with oblivion, and plenty of cologne for the one that needs a haircut instead of a liniment. I’ll say one thing and you can say something different and together we’ll make a literature get up and do something feathery and weird and you can rely on that. What you do otherwise is none of my business. 

Because of the fact that the virtue with the highest aspiration is one of a dozen in a wilderness of pain and often used for homecomings, weddings and golf tournaments it will include various rums and other spirits, for no virtue however so mojito, can weigh as much as squalor. Isn’t there a pop song with the refrain one way or another I’m going to get ya? Blondie, right? Released in 1979, the year that I learned to juggle, and discovered Duchamp, and drank Glenfiddich. But enough about me. What about you? What are you up to these days? I like walking. And eating blueberries while reading a book. There are things I’ve learned. A leg will help in propping up a nice cuddling by random selection and to mix and pop into quantum equations like chalk and glow from end to before continuing to oblige whatever it is that gives you a beard and a place to go. I recommend the seashore. Say Copacabana. Because life is a bonfire on the night's archaic neck and from which its music hums in and out like systole and diastole and is acquired through a wardrobe of flowery frills and velocities, the same way it is with a man and a woman to love one another and surpass its ecstasies with a load of toads on them like Terence McKenna.

Spain. The Costa Brava. May, 1972, there were nightclubs in Lloret de Mar that didn't open until three a.m. Franco was still in power. And Franco ran a fascist regime. The Policia Armada carried a sidearm called the Star S Pistol. Whenever I saw them coming late at night, I always checked my pockets to make sure I had my passport. Of course, I went about it very discreetly. They were nicknamed los grises because their uniforms were grey. And also, I suspect, because they occupied a very grey zone in the political spectrum. It felt very Hemmingway. The frontier between the human mind and external reality is a curious zone. It’s odd how a seeming normalcy can exist within a regime of oppression and fear. Take a peach. I love everything about them. The fuzz, the sweet, savory juice, and the heft of their heavenly consistency. They’re far more erotic than an apple. Prettier than a prune. More lenient than a lemon. Way nicer than fascism. You can relax with a peach. And try to forget what happened in Minneapolis January 7^th, 2026.

Boxing during a full moon is glorious. But dancing during a new moon is just plain lunacy. Of all the activities available to us during our brief tour of life, there's one I never completely understood: golf. But I’ll come clean: I never played it. Perhaps if I gave it a shot, the mystery of its apparent monotony would ignite something within, a long-buried need to hit a tiny ball into a tiny distant hole. There are a lot of things I've never done. I've never ridden in a hot air balloon. I've never sat at a conference table discussing complex geopolitical problems with the fate of the world in my hands and a line of coke up my nose. I never dated Brigitte Bardot. I never stood at a gaming table in Monaco gazing discreetly at everything with a knowing gaze, the way Sean Connery did it. Not so much the other dudes. They never mastered it. I will never know what it’s like to give birth. I could never hang Christmas lights on a radio tower. I am good at a few things. Jujitsu isn’t one of them. I am good at spying. You just make yourself anonymous, keep a low profile, and notice things. Little things. Like lipstick on the rim of a shot glass. Morning light on a breakfast table. Orange peels. Champagne glasses. Crumbs. Sugar cubes. Coffee. Body bent forward. Head on the table. Overhead fan spinning round on the back of a tablespoon.

We must try to describe our world such as it is, in this current moment, and from this point onward keep talking, keep writing, keep filming, keep venting our grievances, until we reach the full pitch of life’s reality, which is never going to be but one thing, but a vital conduit to other dimensions, other ports of call where the drinks are cheap and the postulates all burble like rain. In doing so, it is understood that, in case it hasn't yet been possible to ask certain indelicate questions, we must assume a hypothetical chromaticism and push forward like a textbook preface drunk on passion, presumption, and panoply. Ask yourself: why do I bother to protrude when so many others before me have entered the ring with such miscreant bluster? What do I bring to the table, besides bad jokes and Byronic baloney? All of this is rapidly escalating toward a storm in a teacup, which is precisely what happens when a wind baffles a restaurant awning.